In my 20s, I was told by multiple mentors never to “burn a bridge” at work. Even when you wanted to – even though it might be justified – and even when it would never be crossed again.
Avoid burning them, at all cost.
The inner me rebelled at this a bit. My ego has never liked acquiescing.
Having now worked for over a decade with boundaries in the workplace, I can attest to the notion of not burning bridges. There are however, times a bridge needs to be deserted. No doubt. There are sometimes, that a full boarding up of a bridge is demanded. Along with cautionary red tape and warning signs of “DO NOT CROSS” placed everywhere around it in plain sight for others to see.
But never burning it. Because burning it, hurts both sides.
Our world seems more divided than ever. We seem to be pushing against one another with such fervor that both sides are now willing to burn the bridge.
I hope we don’t.
Business and work environments are one space that can help us to keep open conversations going – despite differences of opinions. Businesses and organizations are built to serve the community. To serve the needs of people. And we do this by employing a wide, diverse, group of people and serving a wide, diverse set of needs. The companies who commit to diversity, along the challenges and complexity that arises with diversity in action – are stronger for it. The ones who don’t, eventually fail.
Over the years, I’ve been lucky enough to work with a multitude of people, ranging from all sorts of places on our glorious globe. Mostly, I’ve witnessed so much good in people. I’ve worked with people who have massively different opinions than I did – and as long as I listened, the interactions always taught me something. I’ve seen different perspectives that I might have otherwise missed, thanks to these conversations – and I like to think, at least occasionally, that the conversations humbled me quite a bit too.
I’m forever grateful to my teachers and trusted mentors over the years, the many phenomenal beings, who have taught me the art of listening. For they taught me to listen in a way that helps me understand another’s viewpoint, even when I don’t agree with it. This capacity to listen, to learn, to engage in dialogue, is at the core of our ability to work together. It’s the core to building bridges.
That’s why business is a good place to start building and strengthening our ability to listen and our ability to connect. Questions we should be asking ourselves include: how do we encourage teams to navigate conflict? How are we supporting healthy reflection, and the down time needed to process what is going on in our work worlds, along with the broader worlds we live in?
Our world is small.
Wars are now touching us everywhere. Friends, clients and co-workers just over the Pacific. Family, colleagues and vendors just over the Atlantic. I know so many people now who are being directly impacted by these tragedies. Shootings now impact all of us – clients, co-workers, colleagues, vendors.
Whether it’s the East Coast, West Coast, Midwest. It touches people I know. Laws and public policy that impact individuals we work with, are now hitting so very close to home.
Our global world is shrinking.
And we are better for it. It’s bringing us closer. It’s connecting us. We’ve gotten to experience the happiness, laughter and joy of these new connections. It is also showing us the collective pain as it arises in our co-workers, neighbors, and communities’ eyes.
As business people, how will we choose to respond to these times?
When we hear someone at the office share a different perspective, will we shut the conversation down? Will we run away to lament and join the people who share only our perspective? Will we avoid work conversations, or choose to work through challenges together, either because of it – or in spite of it?
Will we burn the bridge?
Or can we hold for a moment.
Just pause.
Pause and connect inward first. Validate the hurt we feel. Take a moment to touch into the pain of a comment or disagreement. And then hold – just hold for a moment. Then can we calmly, vulnerably, and openly state our perspective, without any demand or expectation that they change their opinion? Not easy. How about in an environment or group that doesn’t support our opinion? Even harder. In some situations, possibly even dangerous.
There are no easy answers here.
What I do know is that these times are demanding something new from all of us. And what this will require of us – collectively – is Strength. Energy. Awareness. The very building blocks for Boundaries – are the same building blocks of Connection.
Let us find ways to create open and safe spaces for dialogue. Let’s do what we do best in business, which is to professionally and respectfully listen to ideas, possibilities, and differing perspectives – in an attempt to come up with something better. We all know that the best decisions and solutions are not found from just one side of the room. The best solutions are found when we engage everyone.
Business can be a catalyst right now. We are adept at this stuff. We challenge. We convince. We negotiate. We listen. We patiently return to the table time and time again. Because we’ve learned – that this is how great business is done. The challenge always gets us to the better decision.
How do you support yourself and your teams at work? What skills are you providing them to have challenging conversations within the work environment? How do you support connection within your organization? What ways do you support and foster healthy tension? Do you and your team know how to spot unhealthy tension and know ways to diffuse it?
How are you supporting the building of bridges?
May you and yours be well.
Woodrie & The Team
